Bucky and Alma Forever

tootncommon

By Shaun Pinello ©Little Dog Comics 2016

Theres a story behind the joke on this page. Not a great story but whatever. It’s my story and I’m going to tell it.

It goes back to 2011 when I worked at a nursing home. I was on my way home from work and for some reason I thought of Tutankhamun, you know King Tut, and how it sounds like toot’n’common. Like you have a toot in common. I know, I’m killing this joke right now, but it was funny to me at the time and the more I thought about it the funnier it got. It’s like when you were a kid and you insulted another kid on the playground and that kid’s like, “Very funny I bet that took you all night to think of that.” I’m the kid who stays up all night it case you didn’t get that. You probably got that.

This joke kept percolating in my head for weeks. I had the punchline but it took me a while  to get the set up. And once I had the set up I needed the perfect opportunity to spring this terrible joke on the world. And as luck would have it I worked somewhere where toots happened loud and often. The nursing home. Old people live there and for those of you who haven’t spent much time around old people, they have little to no control over their farts.

My main job was to go to someone’s room, help them out of bed or a chair, and take them to the gym for physical therapy. I was helping this lady move from an arm chair to a wheel chair. When she stood up she farted. A long raspy toot with hints of wetness. Most of the time the social convention is for both parties to act like nothing happened. You can’t even crack a smile. But she was really embarrassed so I felt like i should break the tension. I said, “You remind me of the Egyptian pharos, you both have a toot’n’common.” She laughed and we were best friends after that. At least until she forgot who I was thirty minutes later.

I warned you it wasn’t a good story but you still read it all the way through.

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